Dustin's Beginning
Monday Monday Monday. The day that everything changes. My sleep schedule, which I previously attempted to change last Saturday, which was a mistake because Easter Sunday was the following day... It went decently well, but today is the day I keep it consistent. I'm planning on staying up till 1:00pm and sleeping until 9:00pm. It'll allow me to wake up and go straight to work, instead of staying up for 8 hours everyday, waiting to go to work. My sleep quality suffered for it, and I will tolerate it no longer. If I end up having to do something within 1pm-9pm, I will take a nap after getting home from work, and try to fit sleep into my schedule somewhere.
Phew that's technically not progress made, yet. But the progress I did make today was visiting the abandoned golf course, scoping it out and seeing if it's safe to record film there. I took a few photos around the building, and its surroundings. But I only took two images inside the building, as a problem arose.
The problem? Doors are barricaded with solid wood, "security" cameras were "live", and the only entrance inside the place, was through a broken barricade that covered a window. The window is completely shattered, with glass littering the floor of the building. This makes it impossible to enter without a high chance of harming myself.
The solution to this problem... a cleaning artist's date! I talked with Eric about this, about potentially using the inside of the course to record a short little film. I want to fully clean out the room with broken glass, and clean up any potential hazards that can hurt us during the recording. I'm really excited to go through with my idea of film, I'll post a few images down below, to maybe incite some excitement in you as well dear reader!
Eric was more exhausted than usual today, so he might take a bit to find the time or energy to help clean the abandoned building with me. However, it's the next step for me to take.
It's really easy to act like, to say that you're going to change. The change for me would be finally creating a complete piece of art. But I don't want to make art for the sake of it. I want my piece to have a lot of meaning to myself and the people around me, I can't disappoint the expectations I have for myself, and I also know the feeling of going over my head too quickly with projects like these. My vision isn't as complicated as previous scripts and ideas, at least on paper. But the emotional meaning behind the setting, the items I interact with, have a density of meaning that maybe only I can understand.
Wanting to change because of other people isn't the way to become someone you want yourself to be. I've recently found love in myself, I love the way that I am, how I feel and how I react to things. I'm not going to throw away these parts of me to appease other people. In the end I'm expressing my feelings, my way, maybe even in a way people will understand, or possibly misunderstand haha. Changing my ways to respect myself, is something I should celebrate instead of hiding away, honestly everyone should do this. Self help, self medication, self love, whatever set of words that involve you caring about yourself, should be treasured in ones self. Love yourself for the path you've chosen, AND for the mistakes you've made! You only have your entire life ahead of you to make up for the choices you made!