Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday

Well well well. I finally made it to the part where I like to express myself more than anyone is comfortable with! Okay not really, if you're reading this then you're comfortable enough to read it or something. Well since you're still reading, I'm gonna talk about social labels real quick. I am a Dustin, pretty much a human with a name and I like was raised and stuff by these things called parents. Throughout most of my life, I knew a lot of people who I aspired to be the polar opposite of. A lot of nasty people yuck! As I grew older and older, I realized that there really wasn't anyone I aspired to be like. I was always told to just be myself when it came to a lot of things, so I just kind of did things that came naturally to me. And before I knew it I had labels set up to define me. I showed interest in video games in school, boom nerd label. I was kind of quiet in middle school boom quiet kid label. I liked anime in a friendgroup who thought it was for kids, boom weeabo label. I was a really good friend with someone who had a terrible childhood and had aspergers, boom... "friends with him" label. I was labeled and understood based on what I liked and what I did. And those very labels created me, or at least who I was in school. I guess it's not a terrible thing to have an identity at school, but they weren't labels I put upon myself. I took them over and lived through each one of them. Even in the year 2026 I feel labeled. To be better friends with people, I tried to be really funny and weird. Who wouldn't like a funny guy who was like kind of weird and stuff? Uh some people I guess. People put labels on everyone, something as simple as a stranger resting their eyes on you. You don't know what they are thinking. They could be thinking about what kind of person you are based on how you look and react to things. Your friends can look at you, see through your words and come up with their own vision of you. And that's what happened to me. I guess being in a bad mental state can make people see you differently, maybe it makes them forget who you were before hand, or maybe it gives them a reason to look down on you. I don't think anyone truly understands their own self, so why does it seem like people can be so sure they understand someone else? People live long lives, you can't live or understand the entire life of someone else on top of your own. Is it insane that someone can be so convinced you're someone your not? They can feel they understand the very pinnacle of your existence, and don't bother with conversation or an "arguement" because in their minds they are more than convinced. Convinced past the very truth that they disregard. I don't like being labeled, or misunderstood in a way I can't fix. I want people to understand me through language, and if that's too complicated, or not worth the effort, then what's the point of making a connection with me? The world is bad enough, why do we have to make each other's lives worse by utilizing pretention to make ourselves seem like we can understand everything better than anyone else? I don't know, I don't have any answers to what I ask. I can loop issues I have like these in my head forever. Everyone makes mistakes, it's what you do with your mind after doing something wrong. Do you utilize your misdoing by never making a similar mistake again? Do you accept your mistake and move on? Or do you convince yourself that you couldn't be mistaken, and lie to yourself? I'd like to think everyone in the world has the power to improve themselves, but in reality some people can't or will not own up to their actions. I wish everyone could recognize their own imperfections and improve themselves for other people.